By Michael Watt
Since Jimmy McMillan had so much fun heading the “Rent’s Too High Party,” I decided to create my own political party: “Make The Sunday Following the Night We Turn Back The Clocks Back a National Holiday.”
Unfortunately, I don’t see this fitting on a bumper sticker – not even for an Escalade – much less on one of those new-fangled paper ballots. But that doesn’t mean the idea doesn’t have merit.
Let’s face it: the world just hasn’t been the same since the repeal of the Blue Laws that keep most shops closed on Sundays. Those of a certain age remember a time when nothing was open on Sunday save the occasional drug store and some 7-11s. No youth sports league would have the nerve to schedule a game or tournament on Sunday, either, for fear of catching the wrath of The Big Guy for competing with the Sky Pilots for the attention of the masses. As a result, there just wasn’t a whole lot to do on those Sundays. In retrospect, having nothing to do on a Sunday sounds downright blissful, doesn’t it?
But the Sunday after the night we turn back the clocks is the best Sunday of all. You wake up and instantly realize that no matter what time it is, it is actually earlier than you think it is. So you get to sleep in AND get up early at the same time. How cool is that? And you spend the rest of the day thinking, if this was LAST Sunday you’d be one hour closer to the working week than you are now.
Understanding that it would be virtually impossible to roll back the hands of time and reinstate the Blue Laws, I suggest that we compromise and make the Sunday following the Turn Back Night a National Holiday. I insist that the day be celebrated with Nothing To Do. Not only would it be against the law for the department stores to sales on this date, it would be illegal for the stores to be open! Except, of course, for the 7-11s. Gotta get the football brews somewhere.
So that’s my party, and my party platform – for that matter. And speaking of parties, you can be sure when we have our national convention it will be scheduled on a Sunday – with nothing to do.
Thank you for reading this blog.